yikes...

I haven't blogged in a bit, because I was determined to only write interesting stories about my family and my friends. I had a GREAT weekend, but in the back of my mind the whole weekend was the recent teacher layoffs. I was finally on the right path. I just finished my Masters in Elementary Ed and I was subbing, getting my foot in the door. Well, while I was pushing the door open, someone dropped one of those really heavy safes in front of my door and now the door just won't budge. I always had this thought floating around in my head that "once I get my teaching degree, all will be fine", however, now I quickly learned it won't be. So now what are my options? Where do I turn?
   I know I seem like a whiney baby right now, but I am scared. I mean really scared. I am subbing, which by the way went from an almost everyday job, to a "please call me at least once a week" job. I have applied for cyber-teaching, tutoring, private tutoring, anything I can think of.. no leads. I am considering going back to school, but for what? To be honest, I am completely burned out of school as well, and the frightening thought of the 85k I already owe on top of any additional loans makes me want to vomit. It is so bad, I actually had a anxiety attack last night! I actually had to text a friend and ask what the hell was happening to me!!! lol.. weird huh? I have spent hours upon hours this weekend researching, making phone calls, etc. and I have NO idea what to do..
                      H E L P!!!!!!!!
So now I am back on the "what do I want to be when I grow up" path ... AGAIN.. and I an not happy about it!