only me...

Ok so the title is wrong.. not only me, but it felt that way today! The morning started off great, it was 70 degree weather. I took Luke for a nice long walk, we came home and played outside in the sandbox, he had an early nap, and I got tons of stuff done for baseball and the spring carnival. Ok so things were going really well. Luke wakes up so I think it is lunch time. This is where things start to go wrong. My ornery little boy decided he didn't want to sit in his high chair and wanted to sit in a "big boy chair". Soooooo I let him. I make his lunch, and go in to throw some soup in the microwave and Luke decided to flip around in his chair and watch me.. little did I know the goofball was going to slip his legs through the slots. He sits for awhile, talking about this and about that and goes to flip back around for another bite of hot dog and HE CAN'T MOVE. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT. He screams, I come running and I laugh, because I can't imagine why, if he got in, why he can't get out. So I pull, I pick him up, try to slide him out.. nada. He is crying hysterically by this point. What are my options? Ok cut him out (too scared to do), call the fire department (too embarrassed to do) or call a friend's husband to come handle it.. seriously? He would never let me live this one down! lol.. So I get some large tool down in the basement and twist the slot so it is tilted enough to yank his leg out. This whole process probably lasted around 20 mins. The entire time I have a very grumpy, hurting toddler looking at me as if to say "your who I am supposed to call mom?"

Don't go chasing waterfalls...

Ok.. so here is funny story number 2, 334. Luke and I were making meatloaf in the kitchen so I can be Miss Susie Homemaker and have dinner somewhat prepared for the boys and the hubs when they get home. I pulled up a stool and let Luke watch as I crunched up the crackers, chopped up some onions, and added a little ketchup. As I prepare, Luke decides he will pretend to wash the dishes. Ok no harm. He takes one dish and moves it from one side of the sink to the other side of the sink and so forth. Then the phone rings.. I leave for ONE second to answer the phone and come back in to a WATERFALL pouring off of my counter tops! Ok insert explicit word here.....(^%#$)!!!!!!!! I run in and turn the water off. He (in his dish washing glory) turns the faucet to face the back of the sink (i.e. the wall) so the water is now running behind the toaster, behind the coffee maker, the microwave and rolling onto the floor. There was water everywhere! Like build an arc Noah and come visit, everywhere! AND to make matters worse, who is on the phone when this happens, but my father... who instead of feeling sorry for me- laughs and laughs loudly! The only words that come out of his mouth are " I love that kid..." He officially has his wish- for a child as bad if not worse than I was to him.

get down

as per my request... today is national "Get up and Dance Day" seriously it makes your whole day so much better!

Just a little note you can burn almost 400 calories by dancing for 45 mins!!!!

yikes...

I haven't blogged in a bit, because I was determined to only write interesting stories about my family and my friends. I had a GREAT weekend, but in the back of my mind the whole weekend was the recent teacher layoffs. I was finally on the right path. I just finished my Masters in Elementary Ed and I was subbing, getting my foot in the door. Well, while I was pushing the door open, someone dropped one of those really heavy safes in front of my door and now the door just won't budge. I always had this thought floating around in my head that "once I get my teaching degree, all will be fine", however, now I quickly learned it won't be. So now what are my options? Where do I turn?
   I know I seem like a whiney baby right now, but I am scared. I mean really scared. I am subbing, which by the way went from an almost everyday job, to a "please call me at least once a week" job. I have applied for cyber-teaching, tutoring, private tutoring, anything I can think of.. no leads. I am considering going back to school, but for what? To be honest, I am completely burned out of school as well, and the frightening thought of the 85k I already owe on top of any additional loans makes me want to vomit. It is so bad, I actually had a anxiety attack last night! I actually had to text a friend and ask what the hell was happening to me!!! lol.. weird huh? I have spent hours upon hours this weekend researching, making phone calls, etc. and I have NO idea what to do..
                      H E L P!!!!!!!!
So now I am back on the "what do I want to be when I grow up" path ... AGAIN.. and I an not happy about it!
                   

ooops I did it again..

yeesh, I can't believe I did it again. I came home last night and did the unthinkable. I LEFT MY CAR KEYS WITHIN TODDLER REACH. I mean didn't I learn the first time when I lost the main key, you know the nice car key with the keyless entry? Nada.. so I resorted to using the spare key, where everytime I opened the car door, I had .5 seconds to start the car before the alarm went off. So if it was snowing or pouring down rain, I had to jump in and start the car, leaving my poor family outside until I could let them in. I have looked EVERYWHERE, even his usual hiding spots, the trunk of his red bike, the big drawer in the kitchen, the fridge, and all of his  toyboxes... nothing. I even offered Jeremiah and a friend of his 10 dollars to whoever finds the key first, that lasted a whole 3 mins or so until they too realized there is no hope. What is a girl to do? I know, spend 300 dollars to get another key at the Ford dealership and then listen to my husband lecture me. So it is a no-win situation.....

ughhh I can't believe I am going to share this with you, but I will....

        Today I chose to blog about my weight loss. One because I am excited about it, and two because I have a lot more to go and if I keep talking about it maybe I will actually do it! I know some of you who read this are close, personal friends so when I tell you how much I weighed before and weigh now, I expect you not to be too disgusted (please.....pretty please)

     I have never really been a skinny mini. In high school, I wasn't fat by any means. I actually thought I was fat all throughout high school, until I looked at pictures. I would LOVE to be back to that size. I was very active in sports, I played Junior Olympic basketball as well as high school varsity basketball. So I worked out pretty often. I had my first child, got fat, but lost majority of it..ok not too bad.. had second child, got fatter, but lost majority of it and then some.. I was the skinniest I have every been after I had Jackson.. whooo hoooo! Then I moved to PA... YIKES! I moved by myself (parents were still in TN) I was lonely, stressed, going to college full time, working full time, not eating right and not excerising at all! I had reached a whopping 293 lbs!!!!!! I look back at pictures and I am just disgusted in myself. I tried everything, I would workout in the garage in sub zero temperatures, nothing came off..I tried weight watchers, but wasn't truly dedicated. I didn't like going to meetings, I was embarassed. What I needed to see is that HELLO they were all there for the same thing. However, most who were there were maintaining, I was the only lard ass there..I even begged my parents to help me pay for Jenny Craig, I needed it and that was the only solution. NO RESULTS. Again, not dedicated. I thought to myself, "if I really wanted to, I could".
   
       The question was could I? I mean really "Could I?" It got so bad to where when I took an enviromental bio class and I had to slip on the xxxxxxxxxxxx large waiters to get in the water to shock fish (yes I said shock fish) (ps- no fish were harmed in this experiment, ok one, but he was old anyway) and I couldn't fit in these waiters, I mean I just saw JUMBO BOB slip these waiters on and it was no big deal, hand them to me, couldn't get them over my hips. I was MORTIFIED! I of course cracked a couple of jokes, people laughed and forgot all about it. But, inside I was hurting.. I mean really hurting.. which of course led me to see my family doc. The dr was concerned about my weight gain and referred me to see a bariatric specialist. So I make the visit and I hear these words.. "your too fat for surgery".. UM what?? How can someone be too fat, for fat surgery? Isn't that why I am here? So according to my insurance, I am to lose weight, to lose weight. Ok..sure.. whatever. So I lose 11lbs, have the surgery in October 2008. 30 lbs drop instantly in that month and I am good to go right? WRONG.. I get pregnant. Don't get me wrong I love Lukey Bear, but really, another 40 or so lbs on top of this already fat body? My inner skinny is pissed at me right now. I was pissed at me right now too. But, my husband says " It will all come off, just relax" easy for him to say next to him I look like Shrek!
    
     Ok Luke is born now, didn't gain too much, but let's face it, I can't tell when more fat is added to fat. I have Luke and I am 304 lbs!! UM HOLY FAT BATMAN! So I call bariatric surgeon, she says wait 6 weeks then come in and get band tightened. (Oh yeah, had lap band by the way. Might have missed that in the above paragraph, had to feed Luke in between writing). Ok so it is September, I get band tightened. I go home sit down to a nice meal and hello... can't get any food down. Might just be a tad too tight. Oh well, some swelling occurs, so I decide to wait another day or so. Jeremiah's 8th birthday party, family and friends are invited to a cookout. I set up the party, people start to eat, I take ONE tiny bite of a hotdog and uh oh... won't go down. I spend the entire birthday party in the bathroom throwing up and miss the entire thing. Ok I realize this is getting a tad long so I will fast forward.

     Ok so band is now too tight, I go in remove fluid, nothing helps. Oh and to make matters worse, I lose insurance so nothing can really be done about it. Because let's face it, I cannot afford 2000 dollars for someone to take pics of my insides and then an extra 1000 for them to actually look at them. So I have to let it go.. mind you there is NO fluid in my band now, which would normally mean there is no restrictions, I can eat what I want. Well, not how my life goes. I still to this day cannot eat and to make matters worse I am still fat! YIKES I need help. SO I start enlisting my friends for help. I start to walk and I mean walk a lot. Guess what? The weight starts coming off.. ok but I am still not eating right. So guess what I start to eat right (with what I can) and guess what the weight comes off.. and now I am 85 lbs lighter!!!! I still cannot eat, now it works for some, but obviously something happened to mine and because of my lack of funds, I cannot see why. But, what makes me even happier is I did this basically on my own! Well with the help of my walking entourage, but nonetheless basically on my own! 

       But now, I need that extra 50 or so lbs off and I need help. I join this amazing website. Myfitnesspals.com or take the s off I am not exactly sure. It could be one pal not more. It is great, I track my calories, I track my exercise, you have support groups, everything. I will let my inner skinny out, someday (not just yet, but soon) and I will be happier than ever. I watch what I eat (to an extent) I have become obsessed with veggies and fruits, but I cannot eat meats bc of my "too tight, lap band" and I exercise and love it. I tried running the other day, but I am not quit there yet. I need like 45 sports bras and duct tape to hold my jigglies in. But, I will get there.. someday. So here is a pic of me before. I do not have many full length pics, bc I was embarrased and disgusted and who wants to look at that? so.. this is closest I have

                                                    highest weight around 293- realized I didn't have any pics stored on this computer of full length

Another fat pic ( I know, hair changed a lot, that is the only thing I had control over)

                                WOW... I JUST LOOKED AT THIS PIC AGAIN, YEESH!

 and after... well as after as I can get, I have lost some more, but I am the one taking a lot of the pics today

                                 Ok trying to find some more because even ^ those jeans don't fit anymore

                                            Notice my face isn't as "pumpkin-shaped" anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I am not bragging (well a little bit) I still have a LONG way to go, but I have come a long way as well. I still make mistakes. I walked for a little over an hour yesterday and then came home and ate girl scout cookies for lunch, come on we are only human, right???

 

Welcome

Hello there!!! I have decided to start a blog because I have too many things that happen in a daily basis that people would just not believe, so I decided to write them down and share them with you all! I have 3 sons.. Jeremiah, who is 9, Jackson, who is 8 and Luke who is 1. I love these boys, but they keep me going (and sometimes grossed out!) and sometimes I just need some "me" time. I have read a lot of my friend's blogs and I think this is just the "me" time I need, of course a luxury hotel room, a bottle of wine and a night's worth of Johnny Depp movies would help as well. Well I guess it is time you meet my boys!

Aren't they adorable? They are my whole world. The two older boys are just amazing. Straight A students, extremely athletic (they play football, baseball, they wrestle, who knows what else they will come up with) they are polite (most of the time) and they are just all around great kids. I mean I know they have their moments, but they have grown up a lot in these past few years from the time they used to have "pee wars" on the t-ball field. It makes me sad because they are growing up too fast. Then, there is Luke.. oh geez. What can I say about Luke. He honestly scares me! My dad says he always wished for a grandchild that gave his daughters half as much trouble as we gave him and he finally has him! He is a handful, but of course I love him. He recently just got his haircut. He used to have a head full of beautiful blonde curls. Then we took him to get a haircut (2nd haircut). I told the stylist "trim the bangs, leave the curls", I repeat "LEAVE THE CURLS".. well he went in as a curly blonde hair,  little blue-eyed Luke and came out Samuel Yoder, my Amish son! ( I mean don't get me wrong, I am OBSESSED with the Amish, but .... not haircut wise) Take a look..                                   

                                                      Before........

and this is after......

Ha Ha... JUST KIDDING! I will show you what the butcher did to my beautiful baby boy = (

NO MORE CURLS!!! This is so disturbing to me.. I mean I actually had to leave as I saw the curls fall to the floor AND  had a bad dream about them that night.. I know- I am wierd.. what can I say! Well you have met my 3 sons.. thanks for reading and I hope you will stay tuned for the crazy stories I have ahead! (by the way- thanks to my awesome friend Ruth Ann for helping me with this blog- and answering all my 900 questions that I have- I am sorry, this is all new!)